Oprah with Dr. Oz, her latest clone (after Dr. Phil). They are both smiling while holding omentums (stomach fat): one from an obese person, the other from a thin person. |
Worry TV: The Modern Roman Circus
I watch the 5PM Dr. Oz Show a few times a week. Because I am easily moulded, Dr. Oz has changed my diet and emptied my wallet: I now eat pumpkin seeds and sardines, drink pomegranite juice, chew white raisins, take Vitamin E, and devour as much cranberry sauce and cranberry juice as I can find, the latter two to keep my arteries sleek and unstickable, like teflon, staving off the dreaded heart attack or stroke.
In addition, I find myself (like much of his audience) both horrified and fascinated by his autopsy mini-shows, in which he unveils BEFORE and AFTER dried body parts (brains, intestines, stomachs, lungs, etc.) and shows how disease (usually brought on by Oz's biggest target: OBESITY) has contorted and crippled otherwise perfectly healthy organs.
Notice, I said I watch this ghoulish display, at 5PM---the beginning of what USED TO BE America's dinner hour. And I feel no repulsion. I charge right on to eat a full meal afterward, unphased by having vicariously eviscerated some poor, dead, human being.
What's worng with me?
Oh, and by the way, you know that artifact from the 1950's which I just mentioned: Dinner Hour?
Dr. Oz would replace that, and the other two daily meals, with SEVEN SMALLER MEALS A DAY.
Pass the pumpkin seeds and cranberry cocktail, please.
And a sardine.
_______
PS:
For all his healthy living, Dr. Oz looks every bit his 49 years. And, I suspect, that hair color isn't Nature's.
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