Wednesday, December 30, 2009

* Divorce: The B.M. degree

I used to say that divorce had become an apprenticeship for marriage.

Now, after a decade of a 50% divorce rate (one in two marriages ends in divorce) I'm going to change that to divorce has become a diploma from marriage:Yeah, I went through Marriage College, learned all I needed to know(including what NOT to do) and now, with the B.M. (Bachelor of Marriage) degree, I'm ready to enter a real world marriage.

Too bad for the discarded mate from the "artificial" marriage, which BTW took a real lawyer to get out of.

Too bad for the kids, if there are any, who may wind up with four parents or one parent.

Too bad for the grandmothers and grandfathers who don't know how to explain all the confusion to the kids.

Too bad for all the suckers who sent wedding gifts.

I've gotten to the point that I attend and do the gift thing for the FIRST wedding only: I'm not going to 'Play Happy' for the wreckage of other people's lives, even if it is disguised as a 'learning experince'.

Yes, I am a liberal Protestant by upbringing, but in a world of impetuous marriages (hormone marriages)I'm reminded of the wisdom of a church practice which my Roman Catholic friends had to observe when I was young, a practice which I thought was harsh and excessive:

Engagement had to last a full year minimally, with mandatory couple's counselling. Of course at that time there was no pre-marital sex; no pre-marital apartment (home) sharing.

The wisdom of that ONE FULL YEAR (even with sex and home sharing) makes perfect sense to me in 2009: Time to get bored with the object of your love; time to get bored with sex (maybe two years!); time to get bored with your self.

Then--and only then -- you really learn something and deserve a diploma.

And it's still a B.M. degree:

Bachelor of Myself * .

Now you're ready to work.

(Not play.)

* The advanced degree is the M.M.,
Master of Myself.

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